I recently received some less than favorable news on the job front.
I’ve been holding out hope for some growth opportunities that have been mentioned over the years and had reaching the point of utter boredom and apathy. While others were moving on and moving up I was stuck with a bear trap around my ankle and just couldn’t get flexible enough to chew through my leg no matter how much yoga I did. So when I got the news that the little carrot that they’ve kept dangling just out of reach was never actually going to be mine I wallowed.
All of this time and energy, years of my life wasted. I’m now exactly were I was when I first got out here except its possibly worse because I’m now 4 years older with this “experience” which makes me undesirable for “entry-level” positions but not moving up or really doing much of anything in my current role makes me look suspicious for anything with more responsibility. Naturally panic ensues as I imagine the rest of my life chained to this desk while the world passes me by.
There was drinking, there was chocolate, oh and there were so many carbs courtesy of Pizza Hut.
The following day was slightly better in that I only felt like crying for 75% of the day and only did tear up twice but never in public.
So why am I grateful for the punch to the face?
I no longer had to feel guilty or worried about leaving my job when the great new gig appears on the horizon and it isn’t a mirage.
For the past few years we’ve had a lot of turnover and each time a new guy starts or the old one leaves I felt it would be more respectful to wait it out. Make sure the new person is up and running before I cut and run. I also was hoping (as it seems in vain but I digress) that with each new boss, new opportunities would exist. Some promised the world and I even believed it for a time so knowing, right from the get go that the current regime wants the assistant equivalent of handcuffed to the stove barefoot and pregnant I can walk away much easier.
What’s the relationship equivalent to this moment?
Anytime someone is honest.
Cruel to be kind as the song goes.
When someone actually has the guts to say “I’m just not that into you” and walks away. That moment hurts sure, but does that fast blast of pain hurt more than months or years of nothingness, loneliness, confusion, and despair. So when you know this isn’t going to work out, go ahead and speak up. A rebuttal will more than likely be offered but in the long run you both know it’s for the best. And if you’re on the receiving end of one of these conversations, it’s ok to be upset but more than likely a week/month from now you’ll be relieved that you got out when you did.