Check Please

You’re on a date from hell and the man sitting across from you says something that pushes you over the edge. You raise your hand mid bite of salad and say “Check please” to any waiter within earshot that might be able to help you escape from the clutches of this horrifying evening.

While I’ve never gotten the chance to do this on a date I have done it in life. There comes a time when you just have to tap out and walk away from the relationship. The drama and the stress aren’t worth the fun, if the fun even still occurs. While I enjoy helping my friends through rough patches and cheering them on through great moments of triumph I also know my limits and when I just don’t have anything left to give. The relationship has gone septic and there’s no hope for recovery.

You know you’ve reached this point when you pull the plug and you breathe a sigh of relief instead of sadness. Sure you had some great times that you’ll always remember and laugh about but as the months and years have passed the fun came to a screeching halt. Sometimes this can occur with a singular incident that you simply can’t move past from while others, like my most current was a long time coming. A night of silly fun would be followed by a day of hassle and drama. And as time progressed the drama began to overtake the enjoyable moments until I took a step back and realized I hadn’t had a “good” time with this person in months. It just wasn’t worth the pain and frustration anymore so I walked away.

You hear this sort of response from individuals going through a divorce and walking away from a friendship is in many ways like a break-up. Who gets the friends that you made together? What about your favorite brunch spot or happy hour? Luckily since this was a friendship and not romantic you should be able to avoid the super dramatic and incredibly awkward scene if/when you accidentally run into one another. Be courteous but move on quickly to not get sucked into your previous role whatever that might have been in that particular friendship.

People will come in and out of your life at different times and they shape who you become in the future. Few stay with you from beginning to end while most are cast as recurring, or guest star roles. It doesn’t mean that the time together was any less special, just that the time has come to move on.

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