Archive for March, 2011

Judgment Day: Psychic I Am Not
March 10, 2011

As an interventionista I am constantly being asked to interpret and make suggestions based on the information my friends provide me regarding certain issues that seem to be plaguing their existence. Perhaps I provide them with a viewpoint that they had not yet considered. Other times I provide a sounding board as some just need to actually hear the issue out loud to know the right course of action.

Recently I have been put in a situation in which I feel that the friend doesn’t really get exactly what it is that I provide. I’m being asked to be a psychic and that’s really not how I work.

The back-story is that a year or so ago she started dating again and was so very excited about the new man in her life. I happened to meet him over a weekend when I was visiting her and I still don’t know how to put my finger on it but I got a bad vibe. He was perfectly polite and friendly but I just got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and any future encounters produced similar feelings of ickyness. There was nothing specific that I could point out. A look, physical contact, a conversation, nothing particular but his general presence made me think this guy was skeevy. As I had nothing to defend my opinion and my contact with the gentleman had been so brief I chose to say nothing to the friend but did mention my concerns to another friend to see if any red flags had come up when she and her husband met this man later in the year. Not only were there no red flags but they absolutely adored him! What wasn’t to like, he brought fantastic wine and cigars and discussed new business ventures and trips. I remained unconvinced and to make matters more complicated my spy couple mentioned my concern to our mutual friend. I was immediately put on the spot to provide proof of which I had none. I reiterated over and over that her happiness was my only concern and if said man was providing her joy then I had no real reason to object. Sure enough, weeks later his true nature came to the surface. He cheated on her, with one of her best friends, in a family property and then proceeded to cheat on her with her other best friend in the home that they shared.

Was this a fluke? Did I just get “lucky” that my opinions were validated? There is no way to know for sure but as the only person who saw this man as a problem from the very beginning I have become an essential presence in all future dating for this friend.

She recently started seeing a new guy and immediately booked a flight to parade him for me to see if once again I get any vibes. We have a dinner planned and I will be watched like a hawk for any possible facial tick or vocal inflection that would indicate if she has chosen wisely with this new suitor. And as I am sort of known for having little control of my facial expressions I fear that I will have to get botox prior to our evening just to stop her from panicking if I bite my lip or blink rapidly.

There are usually some pretty obvious red flags that come up during the first meeting/interview however it’s unusual that these issues had never been mentioned to the friend on previous dates and thus I might reiterate them later but they rarely come with much of an objection. By a certain age most can state that they’ve been married, they might have kids already, etc. While these are noteworthy and might require some more specific digging (divorced 8 times, cheated on wife with teenage daughters best friend, etc) most of the time these are just factors of living a life and I’m unlikely to see any reason to object.

In this instance the only time to reiterate that I am not a soothsayer or psychic will come during his bathroom breaks so I must work quickly. Predicting doom is not part of my arsenal of skills so please dear friends, don’t ask me to look into my magic 8 ball and predict that your future relationship will end in holy matrimony or him cheating with the sales rep on his business trip in 7 months.